The day when i lost my dad was and will be the worst day for my life. The only thing that can still come close to any of the things i was feeling at the time is that one feeling of helplessness that you get when all you do seems to not do anything and your powerless to change what has happen and what will happen but just like a drowning man you try your hardest to try and swim and you splash and you sink and even as you take your last breath and see the sun for the last time, you still try to stop what you know is coming..........
My life seems to be a self imprinted series of hopelessness, i still try but sooner or later i tend to just sink to the bottom and just rest there, and as i get colder and colder and try to breath and reach for the light, i asked myself why ... why not let it all go, why do i have to try. but then it all stops and you see that with out the light and with the fight there is only cold and appreciation of the light.
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